Scrumptious Word Morsels

Dear Borders: even at your “store…

Matt Jacob — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 01:07:18 +0000

Dear Borders: even at your “store closing” sale where everything is 30% off, your prices are STILL higher than Amazon’s. No wonder.

Matt Jacob — Mon, 21 Feb 2011 21:46:23 +0000

Went to the bank today wearing this shirt [http://goo.gl/GbGpO] and the teller said, “Oh, you must work at Orange Julius”. Serves me right.

Matt Jacob — Sun, 20 Feb 2011 22:39:53 +0000

Just installed CM7 RC1 on my HTC EVO. Android 2.3 (Gingerbread) is looking pretty good. It’s pleasantly refined and snappy.

Matt Jacob — Tue, 30 Nov 2010 18:55:00 +0000

There’s this phenomenon in workplaces where people will just devour any kind of food that’s left out in common areas. Prank ideas abound.

Matt Jacob — Thu, 18 Nov 2010 19:53:37 +0000

I wouldn’t want to live/work somewhere unless I could wear flip-flops and a t-shirt to work in the middle of November.

Matt Jacob — Tue, 16 Nov 2010 16:31:23 +0000

If the objective l33tness scale went from 1-10, this would be an 11.

Matt Jacob — Sat, 13 Nov 2010 19:55:28 +0000

I was gonna say that I killed a couple baby scorpions in our garage, but then I found out they’re called scorplings. So I killed those.

Matt Jacob — Wed, 06 Oct 2010 16:27:09 +0000

Almond slivers. Cashew pieces. Pistachio nutmeats. Which one of these
is not like the other? Perhaps… the… NUTMEATS?!

Matt Jacob — Sun, 03 Oct 2010 01:54:50 +0000

The one day I decide to wash and wax my car, clouds roll in and rain dirty rain. Those 3 hours of shiny perfection sure were sweet, though.

Matt Jacob — Sun, 05 Sep 2010 01:57:21 +0000

The good: my Kindle has shipped. The bad: holiday weekend. It won’t be here until Tuesday. Until then: I despise you, tree-based paper.